You Can't Win 'Em All

Ballet shoes sit discarded in a pile at the Baghdad ballet school

I watched an interview with Bill Gates a while back and he stated that he and his wife do not intend to leave their children with a large (or small) fortune. The Gates' would rather see their offspring make their way through life on their own merits and talents, much as they did. Now you can debate the wisdom or justice of this all day-long but I suspect that Mr. Gates, if anyone, fully understands the corrupting influence of great fortune.

I tried to explain this concept to an Iraqi friend today and he looked at me like I had a third eye. There was no way that he was going to wrap his head around the fact that money does not equal automatic happiness, and in most cases it's just the opposite. He believes that money will bring cars, houses, more cars, and even greater houses, all adding up to eternal bliss and happiness for he, his wife, and their children. He found the story of the Gates' intention so bizarre that he ran over an had to tell all of his Iraqi friends.

I took a step back and asked him if he were happy right now. He claimed that he and his wife were very happy... but would be even more happy with a bigger house and another car. I tried to point out people that live modestly with great satisfaction, and others that are swimming in wealth but suffer from depression and a myriad of other ailments. My friend was not biting, and in the end I gave up as he continued to stare at me in blasphemous disbelief. You can't win 'em all.

Happy Feast!

Today marks the beginning of the Muslim Festival of Eid that coincides with the annual pilgrimage to Mecca know as the Haj (where the derogatory moniker "Haji" comes from). There is much hugging and kissing among the locals today, akin to the westerners' concept of Christmas. Speaking with one of "our guys" he told me how he woke his family up at 2:30 a.m. so that they could slaughter a sheep (bad day for the sheep population) and distribute the meat to their neighbors. I had to wrap my head around that one, but I guess a fat, bearded guy stuffing toys into hanging stockings is no less strange. Happy feast!

Two Camps In Iraq

Another shot of the Crossed Swords. Last one, I promise.

I got involved in a discussion the other day with one of the correspondents about her views of the state-of-play here in Iraq. She divides the country's political landscape into two camps; those of the pragmatist and the ideologues.

The pragmatists, Iraqi President Maliki being one, realize that the U.S (Coalition) presence is necessary to provide stability to a very volatile society. The Americans are not the "occupying force" that the other camp would have one believe, but are trying desperately to get Iraq to be able to stand on it's own two feet, albeit for selfish reasons.

The ideologues, on the other hand, are quite willing to watch Iraq burn so long as there are no American or foreign forces "occupying" the land. They represent the radical Islamists that would rather sacrifice their country and their lives, or more over the lives of their followers, than tolerate the presence of a foreign culture on their land.

This is the fight that is waging within Iraq today as it struggles with the status of forces agreement that is necessary to give U.S. forces legitimacy in Iraq in the coming year(s). It has been primarily a political struggle, one which Maliki has demonstrated a great amount of deftness. At times the struggle has turned violent as the ideologues use their greatest weapons to influence the public's opinion. So far it's not looking good for the pragmatists as they continue to use political slight of hand and resorted to putting the decision to a public referendum in the coming months, a public that is heavily sided with the ideologues.

On Display At BIAP

An old man ambles along the platform at the Baghdad railway station

Standing around the arrivals terminal at BIAP yesterday one thing stood out among everything else; a blond girl, twenty-something, wearing Lara Croft-like khaki shorts, a sheer white linen shirt and not much else. She was standing there talking to her PSD as if nothing were out of the ordinary. The entire terminal, all 60+ guys stood there eying her, some out of lechery of course, but most out of amazement at her complete lack of knowledge and understanding of where she was.

I looked at her PSD and thought, "You guys have screwed up already, and you haven't even left the airport yet". I'm sorry but I viewed this as a security failure. Maybe the PSD didn't get chance to brief her as to what was acceptable attire in Baghdad, but once she showed up she should have been whisked away and changed into something a little less "provocative". Instead she remained on display for the entire terminal, drawing much unwanted attention to herself and her detail.

Women arrive in Baghdad airport all of the time albeit most of them are muslim. I'm not advocating that western women wear hijabs, but I do think that some degree of cultural sensitivity is called for. At least have the wherewithal to cover your legs and arms. The less attention you draw the better for everyone.

Ramadan Restrictions; "Don't Feed The Bears"

Old ornate gate separates a Baghdad villa from the street

We're in the month of Ramadan now and its interesting to watch the Iraqis as they struggle with the various restrictions, most notably the practice of fasting. While observing the holy month Muslims are not permitted to eat during the daylight hours. They wake before dawn, eat, pray and then thats it for food until evening prayers. Honestly, very few of the people that I work with faithfully keep to the strict regime throughout the entire month, but they all give it a good try.

One of the guys that I was speaking to yesterday told me that he had never fasted for Ramadan before, but thought that he would give it a try this year. He said, "It's hard and I did it for one day. That's all I'm doing. One day of fasting and I will be in Paradise for one day. That's good enough for me."

Knowing that evening prayers for Sunni and Shi'a come at different times I asked my friend, which one comes first? He told me with a big grin, "I don't care. The first one to prayer, and I'm eating with them". He makes me laugh.

Here's another little oddity, water counts as food. They can't drink water! Keep in mind it's 115 degrees outside and they're running around in 20 lbs of body armor all day long. Normally they're drinking gallons of the stuff. I asked my friend if (when) he collapses from heat exhaustion if giving him an IV will violate the Ramadan restrictions. He told me, "Yes, it does". "No medicine either". I've already decided that if he goes down he's getting fluids. He can bring it up with God later and blame me if he wants to.

Love and Marriage

I'm not sure why I like this shot, I just do. It was taken outside a church in Canada following a wedding.

While on the subject of marriages and weddings (It's been on my mind since I just had my 5th anniversary), I was considering the practice of arranged marriages. Some time ago I had the opportunity to question two reasonably educated and articulate Pakistani women about the topic that vexes so many westerners. I expected the women to give me only a lukewarm endorsement of arranged marriages, sticking to the Muslim party line, but instead both women were wholeheartedly supportive of the practice, and believed it superior in all ways to western traditional "love marriages", as they called them. Here's their argument:

In an arranged marriage all of the marital decisions are made, not by the young newlyweds, but by the the couple's parents. This alleviates the often divisive issues that young couples have to grapple with, i.e., money, children, living arrangements, jobs, etc... In the eyes of the two Pakistani women these issues are what cause so many "love marriages" to fail resulting in high divorce rates and single parent homes that are more prevalent in the west.

I then proceeded to ask some pointed questions; "You're going to college now, but after you get married will you work?" "If my husband allows it, yes, I would like to work". I got the same answer when I asked about travel as well. It appeared to me that women lead a progressive life, to an extent, right up until the point where they get married, and than it's all dependent on the wishes and whims of the husband. In other words, a woman can travel the world, and get a college education, but after she gets married she may in all likelihood sit home and raise children if that's the desire of the husband. Of course the husband is working and traveling as he sees fit.

Finally, I inquired about what is the most that they could hope for out of their arranged marriages. The answer was that their greatest wish is that their parents chose someone that was kind and gentle and that over time they would become close friends with their husbands. I choked a bit on that one.

So for me I found these two women's argument logically thought out and possibly making sense within the confines of their own religious culture. It was obvious that their viewpoint on "love marriages" and the west had been skewed a bit by their Muslim education and by what they may have seen on TV or at the movies. I felt that they didn't truly have a grasp on the western practice, and that the divisive issues that they felt tore families apart also served to bring them closer together, it all depending on the couple.

Child Brides

One of our Iraqi security operators took the day off yesterday so that he could attend his brother's wedding in a hotel in Baghdad. I asked him how the event went and he said that it was great, even some of the western media showed up for whom his brother works. I asked him, out of curiosity how old his brother was, and he replied 27. Then I asked about the bride, "Oh, she's 14". Huh?!

This is normal here in the Middle East, and you hear stories all of the time of children even younger than that, some as young as 11-years old, being married off to older men. Our co-worker claims that she loves her new husband, his brother, very much. One of the guys retorted that only last week she loved The Magic Pony.

In my opinion the entire practice of child brides is an extreme form of human rights abuse. I'm sorry but I can't give a shit less if the practice has it's roots in some hallowed religion or cultural history, it's a form of child abuse plain and simple. In extreme, but all to common cases, the girls can't take the abuse being doled out by their middle-aged husbands and flee back home to their families, who immediately stone them to death for bringing dishonor to the greater family. If you don't know how someone is stoned to death; they're buried in a hole up to their neck with only their head showing, and then people stand around and hurl big rocks until the person is dead. There's one documented incident of a father wrapping his "run away bride" daughter in bare copper wire and plugging it into the 220 volt socket and walking away.

The Middle Way At DXB

I travel quite a bit and when I do I try to be kind and compassionate to my other travelers, which often equates to allowing people go in front of me in line, mostly women, the elderly, children, etc... As I was transiting Dubai International Airport (DXB) this morning I realized that if I continued to be compassionate and accommodating that I would get completely run-over and never make my flight. There comes a point where you have to be assertive and hold your ground against the rising tide of burka-clad women that are deftly maneuvering to get in front of you, or the lady pushing the empty stroller that expects you to yield to her, never asking or acknowledging.

I have a hard time with finding the correct balance between compassion and practicality, and I suspect many other people do as well. There comes a point where you need to be a little selfish, or you'll never get to where you're trying to go, especially while traveling within the Arab culture. I feel badly about it, but I think that in this instance this is the Buddhist precept of the Middle Way, or in other words not extremely compassionate nor selfish. In short, the Middle Way differs depending on the airport that you're in :)

What's Not To LIke?

Iraqi woman stares into the camera. She's not about to smile.

After banging around this country for over a year I’ve just now come to the conclusion that Iraqis do not like us, not at all. I know that it’s hard to fathom, what’s not to like? Westerners in general, and Americans specifically, are happy, jovial, albeit culturally insensitive people that are here to rebuild their country. Yes, all of that is true, but in the eyes of the average Iraqi we were the ones that broke it in the first place. In the words of retired General Colin Powell, “… you break it, you own it”. To be truthful, our “ownership” has not been all that good.

At best the Iraqis tolerate us simply because we’re slowly making infrastructure improvements, we’re the only game in town at the moment, we employ a lot of them, and not having us here right now would be exponentially worse. At worst, they want to blow us up, and speed off to paradise.

The Iraqi people that I come in daily contact with have worked for years alongside westerners, and still there’s an undercurrent of disdain, or maybe more accurately, disapproval. They don't understand the western culture and simply try to exist alongside it while maintaining some semblance of their own cultural and religious identity.

In the meantime we are working to make the best of the situation at hand because that’s really all we have. In the end we rely heavily on one another and working friendships are formed, but if conditions were better I believe they would just as soon see us off to the airport with a hardy “thank Allah those idiots are gone”.

More Cultural Tidbits

Young Iraqi soccer player

Here’s a little stumbling block westerners have when trying to work within the Arab culture; Arabs lie. At first I thought that was a terribly racist observation until someone pointed out that it’s in the Qur’an. Muslims, not only have permission, but rather have a duty to lie to non-believers; it’s called, “taqiyya”. Wrap your head around that little tidbit.

When talking to the throngs of Iraqis and other Arabs that we have working for us it’s all but impossible to get a straight, reliable answer to your question. At a minimum you will receive a gross exaggeration, but more likely you will be told a bold-faced lie with no remorse or compunction whatsoever. You will get whatever story, exaggeration, lie or fabrication which will save the most face and honor with the person you are speaking with.

Here’s another favorite of mine; "honor killing". True story as reported by a Jordanian newspaper (see above). Young Muslim wife is married to her husband who is “pimping her out” to his friends to perform sexual acts for them. The wife can’t take it anymore and runs home to her father. The father, injured by the insult that his daughter left her husband, is therefore forced to murder his own daughter to restore his honor. He does so by wrapping her in bare copper wire and plugging it into the household outlet and walking away for 15 minutes.

My final favorite, and another true story, "blood money". A man owns a motorcycle and sells it in good faith to his friend. The friend promptly goes out and kills himself on the motorcycle because he’s never even ridden one before, Inshala. The tribe of the dead motorcyclist then demands some thousands of dollars from the man who sold him the bike simply because if he never sold his friend the motorcycle the friend would still be alive. Failure to pay the blood money results in the tribe killing the man in order to restore its collective honor.

Observations Of The Arab Culture

After a year living in the Arab culture, here are some things that I’ve noticed. I’m not claiming that I understand them, nor am I making any sort of judgment. These are just observations from a western point of view.

• The men are “babied” in the western sense of the word. They’re coddled by their mothers, and soon after by their wives. There’s very little sense of male self-reliance.

• Lying does not carry the same social or cultural stigma as it does in the west.

• Many things are left to chance. I attribute that to the ever-popular “inshala attitude”. I’m not talking about simple things either, but rather the safety of your children walking to school in the morning, or crossing a busy street with no regard for on-coming traffic.

• Traffic laws are non-existent. There's little regard for the written rules of the road nor for any of your fellow travelers. Given an inch, an Arab driver will come up our right-hand side, half-way up onto a busy sidewalk and cut in front of you. Not so much as a wave.

• If you get run over by the above mentioned vehicle that was driving on the sidewalk it’s God’s will, and not the driver’s fault. Wrap your head around that!

• The Arab sense of décor can only be described in English as “gaudy”; bright, ostentatious, shinny things everywhere.

• Religion dictates almost everything. The entire culture rises, eats, works, and sleeps according to religious customs and traditions, most dating back thousands of years. Some, however, are derived by recent decrees of recognized “holy men” or mullahs, many of who are illiterate. The mullahs can rule on anything from music and movies, to sporting events and manners of dress.
  

• Arab countries function better when foreigners are running things. Take a look at Saudi Arabia or the Emirates, the later often called “the best run Indian country outside of India”.

• There are all sorts of physical contact between men, who view each other as “brothers”, a term used a lot in the culture. Physical contact between men and women outside of marriage is punishable by death in many places. So is homosexuality for that matter.
  

• You can get a temporary “marriage” from a mullah that lasts only a couple of hours or days in order to “test drive” a perspective wife.

• You can commit grievous sins in your lifetime and all is forgiven if you build a big mosque. I guess it’s the same in the west on that one ☺

Cleaning Out The Garage

This is sort of an uninteresting shot that I like for some reason. A sectarian flag dances in the breeze while satellite dishes adorn the background. I wonder if the two can coexist for long?

He’s a bunch of miscellaneous stuff that I have kicking around:

1. I have discovered Mark Sisson’s, Mark’s Daily Apple blog with great delight. Mark writes about the latest developments in diet, exercise and overall health and fitness. On his site he challenges people to discuss, and critically rethink everything we’ve assumed to be true about health and wellness. There's an immense amount of very well organized content on the site that is intended to help the reader toward a healthier and more fulfilling life.

2. The Iranians are having their parliamentary elections today and the clerics of the Guardian Council have banned all “reformists”, some 1,700 0f them, from running for office. That sounds free and fair.

3. Having spent the better part of my adult life thus far in the Latin American culture I have a pretty good understanding of how that culture influences individual’s actions and decisions. I’m currently trying to wrap my head around the Arab culture, which is a complete mystery, one that is steeped in ancient history, an unfamiliar religion, and developmental economics.

Speechless

Here’s one for the books. At the end of the Festival of Eid all of the children receive presents, much like the Christmas tradition. You'll never guess what every little boy gets. TOY GUNS!!! This is wrong on so many levels. The streets are full of little kids pointing plastic AKs at everything and everyone. When I first witnessed this I was utterly mortified. Maybe next year they can all get little play suicide bomber vests.

Eid ul-Fitr

Yesterday was Eid ul-Fitr here in Iraq, the day that marks the end of Ramadan, and a month of fasting. I’ve come to know it as “The Big Breakfast”.

The day starts with the normal prayers and then a small meal. People then gather in large congregational prayer sessions to greet each other in the spirit of peace and love. There are exchanges of gifts, hugs, and congratulations as Muslims emerge from a month of heavy effort and concentration on their faith.

Last night several large explosions around the city signified yet more senseless loss of life. Hand-made bombs designed to bring death and suffering killed someone’s son, daughter, father or mother; bombs made by Muslims to be used against their own. So much for the spirit of peace and love that Eid was supposed to evoke. I’ll never understand.

It's Not What You Think

I walked into the villa’s dining room the other day at lunchtime and was surprised to see three of our Iraqi security people sitting there finishing up lunch during what is supposed to be the fasting period of Ramadan. I asked one of them why he was eating lunch during Ramadan, and he explained it like this; there are pious, deeply religious, people out there that adhere to all of the customs and traditions required by the religious holiday. Those are the radical Muslims/insurgents. The rest of us are human and get hungry. We're the other 98% of Iraq.

Ramadan

We are at the beginning of the Muslim observance of Ramadan, which takes place during the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. The most prominent event during the month is the practice of daytime fasting or sawm. Practitioners rise before dawn eat and perform their first prayer of the day. The fast is broken after the fourth pray at sunset is due.

Baghdad is silent, absent helicopters, police sirens, and horns. It’s eerie, I suppose in the same way that Christmas day must be. All of the shops closed, very little traffic, and people remain indoors with family. Adding to the effect is that it’s Friday, and the government imposes the normal curfew against movement.

We’ve been asked by our local staff to refrain from smoking, eating and drinking openly. Life in the Bureau goes on, albeit slightly muted.

Mañana vs. Inshala

Many, many westerners get frustrated here when dealing directly with Iraqis. Westerners most often complain that there is no sense of urgency or personal responsibility within the local culture. It seems that everything can wait to be done at a later time, and if something ever goes wrong, well it’s God’s will that it did. No one is ever at fault and almost nothing ever gets done without prompting. It drives westerners mad. I can easily see why Iraq is doomed to failure without serious outside intervention.

A small handful of us sat around the newsroom last night discussing this phenomenon. Most believed that the Iraqi people are hamstrung by religion. They point to India and Pakistan; ethnically almost identical people divided only by religion. India seems to “get it” while Pakistan is all-but doomed to failure.

This raises the question, what are the effects of radical Islam on development? How prosperous are cultures that won’t allow half of their populations to be educated, that beat, maim, or murder their people for the most minor grievances such as their manner of dress? No one can make a decision or take any action or fear or personal retribution, so in the end it’s better to do nothing. Is this the makings of a developed civilization? It would be a good graduate-level thesis project.

A few of us that had experience in Latin America made comparisons between Inshala and a prevalent Latin attitude known as Mañana, where there is little sense of urgency and things are put off until tomorrow. While the results are largely the same, Inshala is based in the Muslim religion while Mañana is soley cultural. Nevertheless, both are retarding the development of their respective practitioners. This is not to say that Muslim countries and Latin countries cannot develop, but it appears that those countries that have done so have embraced moderate Islam or neo-liberal economics and capitalism.

Contradictions

Iraqis love to wash their feet. They walk around all day in sandals so I guess that it makes sense.

I’ve started to describe Iraq in terms of contradictions.

The Government is planting palm trees along the road to the airport as part of a beautification project; a road that is plagued daily by small arms fire, RPG attacks, and vehicle bombs.

Iraqi Muslims will slaughter each other by the hundreds, all in the name of a peace-loving God.

There was a graduation ceremony the other day for suicide bombers that had just completed their training.

I watched a young kitten last night devour an infant bird that had presumably fallen from its nest.

A family pulled their car into a security checkpoint. The mother and father got out of the car and walked away, detonating the bomb hidden within the trunk; their two children still strapped inside the back seat.

Mosques have become a favored target of religion-motivated bombers.

It’s 120 degrees out and women walk around in black robes, covering every inch of exposed skin.

Women will remove the robes once they safely reach their destination revealing designer jeans, high heels and gads of jewelry.

One religious ceremony has men, dressed in white, slicing open their own heads and flogging themselves with chains until covered with their own blood.

What I've Noted

Little Iraqi girl stares at the camera before disappearing inside.

Things I’ve noticed about Iraq.

- Iraq does not smell of urine like the rest of the Third World.
- American soldiers love kids, mostly because they’re kids themselves.
- The country is a study of the color brown.
- There is no trust…anywhere.
- Men are embarrassed about sexuality, but women are curious
- Hijab one minute, designer jeans the next
- There is no art
- Kids laugh and smile, no matter where they are
- Sadam scarred this country for the next two generations
- Iraqis only respond to authoritarian figures
- There are disproportionately more cats than dogs on the streets
- If it moves, an Iraqi will drive it
- There seems to be one satellite dish per inhabitant of Baghdad
- The American air strikes were unbelievably accurate
- There is contradiction everywhere
- Many of the mullahs are illiterate
- Islam is being hijacked by self-centered, power seekers
- The violence will get worse long before it gets better
- Some of the best bread in the world, but the fruit is terrible
- Hope exists

Amman, Jordan

Sitting in a very nice hotel lobby in Amman enjoying my first Corona in six weeks, and listening to a lady in a leopard skin gown play some recognizable tunes on the piano.

Amman is a progressive and cosmopolitan city compared to Baghdad right now. Driving the 40 minutes from the airport and passing the clean, elegant buildings, and freely moving people I couldn’t help but imagine that this is what Baghdad may become one day. A picture of the beaten and battered city 20 years from now, transformed into a modern Islamic capital city tickled my mind; it seems so far away, almost unachievable.

Things that you notice in Amman are the streets, packed with people and cars, are very clean. Many of the women are dressed in the traditional black hijab, which looks to me to be very hot in the Middle Eastern sun. Those that are not dressed head to toe in black at least wear a muted head scarf in accordance with their beliefs. The architecture is amazing, both modern steel and glass next to castle-like structures made of white, sun-baked stone.

I only have a handful of hours to spend here before I fly out tonight for Paris and then Atlanta. I really wanted to rent a car and drive to the Dead Sea, but I don’t have the time on this trip. The next time through I’m going to take a day and see what’s outside the city.