Saturday, July 12, 2008

You Might Be A Metro-Tactical...

Dhow makes it's way up Dubai Creek at sunset

Sitting in the VIP lounge of Dubai’s airport the other day I spotted the metro-tactical poster boy. This guy had it all, right down to the shaved head, goatee, American flag baseball hat, and Velcro splashed all over his khaki shirt. If you’re unsure what I’m talking about; that’s probably a good thing. If you’re “tracking”, than press on:

If you're back in the "civilized world", you might be a metro-tactical if:
  • You believe that khaki is the new black.
  • You're currently wearing more than one article of clothing made by 5.11 or Oakley
  • You have a single dog-tag embedded in the laces of your boots.
  • Your blood type is inked onto any piece of clothing. Extra credit if it’s tattooed.
  • You're wearing a “riggers belt”
  • You're wearing an ID card holder around your neck in the mall.
  • You’re wearing an earth tone baseball hat with a subdued American flag on it. Extra points if you’ve sewn on “ranger eyes”
  • You’re sporting Velcro
  • Your keyring is made of 550 cord.
  • Your backpack has a tag in the back that states “Insert Your Name Tag Here”.
  • You can’t have a conversation without using the words “roger” or “copy”
  • You're carrying your MNFI card prominently displayed in your wallet.
  • If all of your t-shirts are black.
  • You’ve contemplated the individual merits of black, OD green and khaki.
  • You’re wearing dogtags.
  • You know how much protein your last meal had. Extra credit if it came out of a blender.

5 comments:

Jordan said...

That list pretty much sums up everyone I know. Well, except for the baseball cap, we have "Covers."

Be safe,
Jordan

Anonymous said...

I admit, I do have a CPIC card in my wallet. But only so I know where it is. And I went out with a "Camp Taji Iraq" tshirt the other day - crucially, underneath the shirt I was wearing. I needed to do laundry. D.

Anonymous said...

- You carry rolled newspapets/baggettes at 'low ready'

Hope said...

i needed the giggle...nah...really when I got to the protein/blender thing it was more of a guffaw...
how's Xfit going? I am loving it!!l_o_v_i_n_g IT. IT KICKS MY ASS, BUT MAN WHAT A WAY TO GO!

NellaLou said...

Enjoyed this post thoroughly as did my father (former Sgt).
Reminded me of some of the "tourists" I see around here in Northwest India.
Here's a few more items that come to mind:
-In a department store taking note of items that could make a nice pontoon bridge
-Concern about the angle of one's beret-wearing a beret without the rest of the uniform or without being French or an artist
-Vehicle of choice has a reinforced grille, roll bars and a gun port
-Waiter hands you cutlery and you immediately disarm him
-Tennis shoes have steel reinforcements
-Aussies-Kevlar reinforced surfboards on Bondi Beach
-Brits-References to The Home Office do not mean where you type your blog
-Canadians(stay safe folks)-"Can you spot me a tank?" doesn't refer to petrol refills. (This is most often said to Brits)
-Indians-Name plates (usually brass and highly polished) on the gates of the house have name and rank (this is true)

Anyways, thanks for the post. Enjoy your blog a lot.